Saturday, October 1, 2011

When love is better than sex

I've been running low on sexy for a while, so I jump every time I have the faintest hint of maybe desire. I'm not worried about my low libido, since it's probably medical, and thus probably temporary, and I have lots of non-sexual intimacy with my partners. But I also don't want it to stay so low, and one of the ways to rehabilitate a low libido is to use it whenever it shows up.

Today I have been exhausted and moodswingy and really short on spoons, but there was just a flash of maybe desire...

So I got naked and invited Mr. Shiny to cuddle for a bit. He came into the room, stopped, and said "You're surprisingly naked."


He was also tired and not feeling the sexy at all. So we just cuddled. And he assured me that normally, surprising nudity would work very well.

I did not feel rejected. I may have felt a little relieved, because of the moodswinging. I felt loved. And I felt encouraged, in a loving way, to express my sexiness when I have it. No guilt, no pressure, just a nice reassuring cuddle. Then we ordered pizza.

Sex is great. I love sex, even when I have no libido so it's a kind of an abstract love. I love love more. Fortunately, I don't have to choose between sex and love.